“Did we just run away from women?”
“Yeah, that just happened.”
“Okay, just making sure…”
I try to work out and stay in good shape…round is a shape, right? Jokes aside, it’s very important to make sure you get out and run every once in a while for your health as well those times when you have to make a quick exit. When a woman mentions another guy, run away…literally, if you have to.
For some reason, I have put off writing about this rule for over 2 years. It shouldn’t be too much of a surprise since I abandoned this blog a while back when all of my favorite bloggers stopped updating.
It’s a simple, straight-forward rule. Everyone has heard it. However, we all need a reminder every once and a while. Since moving across the country a few months ago, I haven’t had any bros to hang out with. My game has…well, it hasn’t slipped. When I want to turn on the charm, it’s there, it’s just less frequent.
The thing is to treasure your brolationships. They matter. And when you don’t have a solid group of friends to go out with, drink, and talk to women, you start to miss the connection, the trial-by-fire that you had with those friends.
So you can do two things to remedy that, which btw, I am trying to do both: do your best to convince your friends to move to your new city, or make new friends and see who works with your personality.
After a few drinks and a conversation with a friend of how we are horrible with women, I told a recent tale of moderate success. This was because I decided to go with the flow and say yes to anything unless I had a good reason to say no. This was similar to how in college I would get really drunk, and things would just happen.
The tl;dr of this rule is that you shouldn’t run into bad situations, but don’t walk away from potentially great ones either.
Be open to possibilities, and the possibilities will open up to you.
When I approach a woman at a bar, I usually like to have a game plan (along with an escape plan, because it’ll probably end badly. This goes through my head when failing miserably…)
However, sometimes it’s good to just go up and start talking; let your natural charm, wit, and silliness win them over. Let the conversation flow naturally. You’re an intelligent, social being, so just talk about anything. Your brain is your enemy, kill it with alcohol.
Of course, it doesn’t hurt to have a wingman helping you out. A story will be written soon, with a new cavalcade of characters.
Afterthought: I didn’t know this before, but apparently some people just don’t know how to make conversation. As human beings, those people should have the social skills to respond with more than one-word answers. We are people; we are social beings; how hard is it to be a person?
Make sure you put your pants on, because when I walk outside naked, people throw garbage at me. Now this is not a style blog, so I’m not going to go into fashion, even though I easily could. This is just a post to remind you all to be aware of what you wear.
Know the type of situation you’ll be in. For most bars, especially Northern California, t-shirt and jeans are not only the norm, they’re expected. The more dressed up you get, the more you stand out, and that’s not always a good thing. The key to being a well-dressed-man is dressing for the occasion. If you’re going to an upscale club, by all means, wear your three-piece-suit you recently had tailored because you can pull it off (provided that it’s GCWOK-approved).
You also have to remember that if you’re going to be drinking heavily, you may not want to bring a jacket if you’re likely to forget it somewhere. Although if it’s cold out, don’t go out with too few layers or you could end up drinking to feel warm, which is a very bad idea.
…and this is why I don’t feel shame. As guys, we have to try, but we don’t always get the girl. Oh well, it’s not the end of the world. Although, sometimes, we have a second chance to try again. Maybe situations are better, or maybe just the lighting is better.
This is when we have make a choice: do I want to try again with this girl with these favorable conditions, or do I think it is not worth the effort?
I used to think we should try again, try to make it work. But that was a while ago. You can call it foolish pride, or whatever you want, but lately, I’ve adopted the thought process that if she didn’t want me back then, I don’t want her now.
I joke a lot about my idiocy, but I have a good head on my shoulders and can make wise decisions when I should (more often than not). During my college years, three of my best friends were women. The important part of that equation was that I didn’t sleep with or date any of them. I know how to keep it in my pants. I later found out that not a lot of guys are like me.
A few years ago, my friend Schneider was interested in this girl named Megan. Another friend and I were along to wingman because she was hanging out with her best friend, who was a guy. The wingmanning went fine, but that’s not the reason for this story. Schneider was never able to get the girl. Why, you ask?
The guy-best friend was the reason why. He was always there. Always “just a friend.” Let’s fast-forward a few months later when I asked Schneider about what happened with him and Megan: nothing. Nothing happend. She got knocked up by, you guess it, the guy-best friend.
In retrospect, it was a good thing, at least for my friend. He dodged a major bullet with that chick. So this isn’t as much a rule as much of a cautionary tale: when a girl says her best friend is a guy, watch out.