Rule #10: Cardio

“Did we just run away from women?”

“Yeah, that just happened.”

“Okay, just making sure…”

I try to work out and stay in good shape…round is a shape, right? Jokes aside, it’s very important to make sure you get out and run every once in a while for your health as well those times when you have to make a quick exit. When a woman mentions another guy, run away…literally, if you have to.


Seemed Like a Long Shot

For some time now, some people said I look like Justin Long or have similar mannerisms/personality from the movies and shows he’s been in. A few years back, there was this 2-week period where three different people in three different situations compared me to him. The first was at work when a coworker stopped, turned to me, and said: “You look like Justin Long.” I was very confused by this, as it was a complete non sequitur from what we were talking about. She was all giggly with her, “Haha, I work with Justin Long.” Then about a week later, one of my friends, out of the blue, said, “Hey Patrick, you know who I could see playing you in a movie? Justin Long.” Again, confused, I asked why. She compared mannerisms and facial expressions. Then, about a week later on my birthday, I was out with a different set of friends and coworkers, and an friend of one of my coworkers said, “Hey you look like that guy from that movie with the restaurant and stuff.” After some deductive reasoning, we found out he was referring to “Waiting” starring, you guessed it: Justin Long.

Enough of the prologue, let’s get into the story…well what I remember of it, since I blacked out:

On a twist of the “How I Met Your Mother – haaaaaave you met, Ted?” technique used on the show, my buddy taps a girl on the shoulder and asks, “Hey, doesn’t he look like Justin Long?” I’m skeptical as to whether this would yield anything, because well, she’d have to know who Justin Long is. Apparently she does, and says, “Yeah, he kind of does…” and this sparks a conversation between her and I, while my buddy steps off to the side, completing his duties as wingman. Now this is where it starts to get hazy because I have been drinking heavily the whole night. I know that I keep forgetting her name, but I remember a trick someone used on me back in college:

It was my junior year of college and I was at this party and this girl was talking with me but was drunk so she couldn’t remember my name. She kept asking every 10 minutes and then she asked me for my phone number so she could put it in her phone and remember me that way. I had a girlfriend at the time, so I was a little hesitant to give my phone number to a drunk girl. I gave her my real name, but gave her a fake number, you know, just in case.

Armed with this story in the back of my brain, I ask her for her number, because to that drunk college girl’s credit, putting someone’s name in your phone does help you remember it. Shortly after this happened, I black out. But I’m pretty sure at one point I sent her a drunk text. It’s me, so it was something oddly charming, or Disney-related. And you guessed it, she didn’t respond. I’m an idiot. This is why I’m single.


Rule #1: Bros Before Hos

For some reason, I have put off writing about this rule for over 2 years. It shouldn’t be too much of a surprise since I abandoned this blog a while back when all of my favorite bloggers stopped updating.

It’s a simple, straight-forward rule. Everyone has heard it. However, we all need a reminder every once and a while. Since moving across the country a few months ago, I haven’t had any bros to hang out with. My game has…well, it hasn’t slipped. When I want to turn on the charm, it’s there, it’s just less frequent.

The thing is to treasure your brolationships. They matter. And when you don’t have a solid group of friends to go out with, drink, and talk to women, you start to miss the connection, the trial-by-fire that you had with those friends.

So you can do two things to remedy that, which btw, I am trying to do both: do your best to convince your friends to move to your new city, or make new friends and see who works with your personality.