Rule #5: The Guy Best Friend Rule (aka The Lesson of Schneider)

I joke a lot about my idiocy, but I have a good head on my shoulders and can make wise decisions when I should (more often than not). During my college years, three of my best friends were women. The important part of that equation was that I didn’t sleep with or date any of them. I know how to keep it in my pants. I later found out that not a lot of guys are like me.

A few years ago, my friend Schneider was interested in this girl named Megan. Another friend and I were along to wingman because she was hanging out with her best friend, who was a guy. The wingmanning went fine, but that’s not the reason for this story. Schneider was never able to get the girl. Why, you ask?

The guy-best friend was the reason why. He was always there. Always “just a friend.” Let’s fast-forward a few months later when I asked Schneider about what happened with him and Megan: nothing. Nothing happend. She got knocked up by, you guess it, the guy-best friend.

In retrospect, it was a good thing, at least for my friend. He dodged a major bullet with that chick. So this isn’t as much a rule as much of a cautionary tale: when a girl says her best friend is a guy, watch out.


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